Dear Little One,
Where are you, my little love? My heart hurts because it misses you so deeply. I don’t know how that is possible when I’ve never had you in the first place, but I do. So badly.
I think about you on the regular. Practically every day! Sometimes more than once a day…
I have to tell you something, Little One. I started making you a blanket. I started crocheting it on January 21st, I think. It’s almost done. This is the first actual crochet project I’ve ever made. It makes sense it would be for you. It’s white, coral, lime green, and aqua. I hope you love it. Coral is one of my favorite colors. Coral and lime were two of the wedding colors in me and your dad’s wedding too. I wanted colors that were bright and colorful, but not overly feminine. You may wonder why… it’s because when I think of you… I always see a girl. I also see a girl who is lovely and sweet and soft, but also playful and a little rugged. If you’re anything like your dad and me, you’ll most definitely be an independent and strong-willed kid. I want you to embrace femininity and girlyness, but also completely capable of standing on your own two feet. Your dad talks about taking you fishing and hunting and teaching you how to build things–traditionally those activities are for boys, but you’re dad and I aren’t traditional! Haha! I hope you are beautiful inside and out, intelligent, wise, loving, generous, kind, empathic, determined, and passionate. I hope you are fearless and fully devoted to God. I feel like you’ll bring so much joy and laughter to our world and that you’ll leave beautiful fingerprints of love on every soul you meet. I want you to be a light in a very dark world. Nothing would make me prouder.
I can’t wait to start this journey with you, kid. I can’t wait to meet you and watch you grow into an amazing person. I hope I’ll be as good of a mom to you as I plan to be. I hope you go to bed every single night knowing just how much you are loved, my child. You are.