Dear Little One,
I never finished that first post but let me tell you how things have been progressing the last month.
My first IVF consult was difficult. The short version is that the Doctor told me I had a “low ovarian reserve” meaning I have fewer eggs remaining than a woman my age should have. This was hard news to hear and I definitely felt like we had been dealt another blow.
After this consult, I spent about a week in prayer as to what the next step would be.
Three weeks after Consult #1, was Consult #2 that I had already scheduled months ago in case I wanted a second opinion. For the record, I am SO glad I did that!!
Consult #2, was much better than the first. The doctor was very kind and helpful and I liked her personality a lot more. I ended up going back to that clinic the following day because she wanted to perform an ultrasound and get some blood work done. Great news! All of my blood work and my ultrasound… everything was where it should be! I DO NOT have a low ovarian reserve after all. Thank the Lord!
Since then, I have just been waiting and working. Lol. Your dad and I are really trying to make headway on the house projects so we can move forward and sell the house. We are really REALLY hoping to get the house listed and sold by June so we can start IVF.
Can I tell you a secret? I think you are coming to us soon! Maybe it’s just being hopeful and maybe I’ll be wrong, but I just have this feeling that you are going to be born in the spring… like March or April. (I’ve always wanted my first baby in the spring!)
I really have been wrestling with this name Lily because–while I do love it–it’s SO common. Although, I just keep coming back to this feeling that you’ll be born around Easter and–if that’s the case–Lily is pretty perfect. I think of Easter lilies. Your dad is super allergic to their pollen, but I just love what they represent. And Easter! Easter is celebrating the death and resurrection of Christ. It is literally about bringing promises of hope, life, redemption, and restoration.
This is the origin of the word “Easter”, which seems completely appropriate as well…
Old English Easterdæg, from Eastre (Northumbrian Eostre), from Proto-Germanic *austron-, “dawn,” also the name of a goddess of fertility and spring, perhaps originally of sunrise, whose feast was celebrated at the spring equinox, from *aust- “east, toward the sunrise” (compare east), from PIE root *aus- (1) “to shine,” especially of the dawn.
Anyhow, I think it would be perfectly poetic for you to be born around Easter. So, you and God should have a talk and see if we can’t all get on the same agenda on this. Haha! 🙂
Something else encouraging happened. Your aunt, Destiny, had a dream about you. She said you looked wise and had these eyes that she was just caught up in. She said you knew her and said her name and everything. She said you had blue eyes.
Lately, when I think of you, I imagine this little girl with long brown hair and piercing turquoise eyes. I imagine you’ll have your father’s dimples and my giggle. I imagine you’ll be our wildflower and have this amazingly sage-like quality to you. I ran around barefooted so much of my childhood and I think you’ll probably do the same…
I just have to say, “I love you.” Whoever you are and however you look… I will love you just the same.
Come soon, sweet child.